作者  QAZXC (二月西捷)                                         站內  SDstory
 標題  [正式篇] 外星人 PK 醫生  Part2
 時間  2010/03/03 Wed 22:09:41
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
 
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「別那麼認真嘛醫生。」外星人伸出左手四指擋了擋,倒三角形的大
                                                                               
 頭偏了偏。「你不先問問我為什麼參加這個比賽嗎?」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   醫生並沒看見外星人開口,他聽見的聲音似乎是在腦海中響起。雖感
                                                                               
 奇怪可是他並沒有因此鬆懈下來,兩手仍握著刀柄,口語客氣地問:「那
                                                                              
 麼,請問你為何要參加比賽?」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   醫生的職業道德是要尊重病人,而他覺得這個人有病。若他是喬裝成
                                                                               
 外星人的模樣,那此人心理一定多少有問題。若這真的是外星人,那他倒
                                                                               
 可以剛好為自己的期刊多添一篇創舉。有何不可?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「醫生你別胡思亂想,我當然是貨真價實的外星人啊!」他沒有眼瞼
                                                                               
 ,所以沒辦法做出可愛的眨眼動作。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   醫生心中一凜,問:「你知道我在想什麼?」
                                                                                                                             
   外星人搖搖頭:「我只感覺得出你腦電波急促,那律動像是懷疑我什
                                                                               
 麼?醫生,我參加這個可是為了宇宙和平呢!為什麼地球人老是那麼愛打
                                                                               
 戰呢?」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   打戰?應該是要說打架或是戰鬥吧?打戰是什麼?看來這外星人的文
                                                                               
 學造詣還不是那麼的好。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「你是醫生,你應該也不希望這世界上都是生病的人吧?不管是身理
                                                                               
 或心理生病都不好哇!」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人還在繼續演講,那八個指頭晃啊晃,看起來真像實習時解剖的
                                                                                                                                                    
 青蛙。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「你說的對,我當然也不是為了武林盟主的位子而戰鬥的,我是為了
                                                                               
 證明自己。」醫生對外星人有了另一種看法,他推推眼鏡。「你若真是外
                                                                               
 星人,又何必要來這裡攪和?直接洗腦地球人不就好了?」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「醫生,有發自內心的和平才是和平呀!」外星人雙手合十,看來有
                                                                               
 些可笑。「我並不想傷害地球的一草一木,不如我們立個規矩,這次打鬥
                                                                               
 若誰傷到無辜的人或動物,那誰就輸了。這樣好不好?」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「我無異議。」醫生微笑。他本來就不是好傷殘的人,不然他也不會
                                                                             
 去當醫生了。「那就開始吧。」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人軀幹並不像地球人一樣,他長手長腳的,看似行動緩慢,忽然
                                                                               
 單腳一蹬,竟往上竄了六呎高。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「嘿!」外星人在空中成大字型,今天他穿著的剛好是綠色的緊身衣
                                                                               
 。他想這畢竟是第一場戰役,應該要代表遠方的家鄉來點好印象才行。他
                                                                               
 曾經在報紙上看過綠色是代表了和平、友善與環保的象徵,所以他特地在
                                                                               
 飛碟裡找了這件緊身衣。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   當然,在地球的英文裡,Little Green Men (小綠人)也代表了外
星人。他想這件緊身衣應該也能展現他對地球的『愛』吧?(羞)
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   醫生瞇眼上瞧,果然一般人無法原地上跳這種高度,這人果然不是普
                                                                               
 通人。一陣光線錯影,他雙手一張,同時射出了數十枚手術刀片,刀刀刺
                                                                               
 穿空中下射的片狀物。他細眼一看,竟然是張張明信片。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   只見白色的明信片被刀片給釘在樹上或泥地,瞬間又劃無。他心覺有
                                                                               
 異,果然外星人跳下時離他五公尺遠。他往上一看,還有一片明信片正緩
                                                                               
 緩飛落。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   他信手拈來,上頭是一張澳洲袋鼠的圖樣。
                                                                            
   正要將手中紙片丟掉時,他聽見外星人的嘿嘿笑聲。他敏感地一彈手
                                                                               
 指,手中的明信片竟也化為煙霧,這煙霧來得快去得快,忽地本能一閃,
                                                                               
 他避開了強勁的一腳。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   滾了滾,醫師的白袍給沾了泥灰。他備戰狀態,竟看見煙霧中竄出一
                                                                               
 隻身長超過兩公尺的澳洲袋鼠!?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「這、這怎麼會……」話未說完,他便見那米灰色的袋鼠露出牙齦,
                                                                               
 轉頭張望,最後定在他身上。牠發出一陣刺耳的叫聲,隨即後腳微陷。醫
                                                                               
 生一看不好,又是一個滾地,及時避開了袋鼠猛烈的衝撞。
                                                                                                                                    
   他越地而起,推了推眼鏡。不愧是見過大風大浪的神醫,只一喘息間
                                                                               
 便恢復了鎮定。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   探手握住自製的刀片,醫生腦中迅速轉動。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   那龐然袋鼠穩住猛勢,轉身過來,搜尋了一會兒看見醫生毫髮無傷又
                                                                               
 是一陣示威的叫。他曾聽說袋鼠的視力很差,但有趨光性,澳洲很多袋鼠
                                                                               
 是死於汽車的大燈底下。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   他看一眼手中碳鋼鋼帶製造的手術刀片,哼笑一聲,明白為什麼外星
人會出此招了。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   袋鼠的語言他不懂,可是看那姿態也知道那袋鼠將他視為眼中釘。一
                                                                               
 旁的外星人見他與袋鼠纏鬥也沒趁機暗算,只是盯著他與袋鼠看,眼神中
                                                                               
 似乎還比較關心袋鼠有沒有受傷。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   哼!保護宇宙和平是嗎?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   一尋思,醫生已有妙計。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   他緩慢脫下白色的醫師袍,單手一晃,袋鼠嘶聲咧叫,鼻孔中噴出氣
                                                                                                                                               
 來。他施出巧勁將白袍向旁一丟,果見那袋鼠雙腳一蹬,朝那陽光下發亮
                                                                               
 的衣袍撲去。醫師一箭竄步,手中自製刀片毫不留情往袋鼠的尾巴射出,
                                                                               
 那碩大的尾巴竟被鋒利的刀片給截成兩段。一個轉身,落下的醫師白袍像
                                                                               
 有生命般地又穿回他身上。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   一旁的外星人大聲哀叫,因為眼部構造與地球人不同,所以醫師看不
                                                                               
 出外星人此時情緒如何?
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「醫生你好殘忍,你怎麼下得了手呢?他是多麼可愛的小袋鼠啊,澳
                                                                               
 洲的名產耶!」
                  醫生面無表情,看著那隻袋鼠一叫,轉眼化為灰煙,又成了那張印著
                                                                               
 袋鼠的明信片,明信片上的尾巴讓刀鋒給劃了一記。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人向前奔上,拿著那張澳洲袋鼠的明信片,說:「嗚~我們星球
                                                                               
 上可沒有這麼大隻的老鼠,我找了很久最喜歡這張耶!你竟然把牠的尾巴
                                                                               
 給砍斷了!不是說好了不能傷害動物的嗎?」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人語調帶淚,可是醫生怎麼看還是覺得那張臉始終沒表情。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   醫生難得笑了一聲,說:「台灣的公園裡會出現袋鼠嗎?想也知道是
                                                                               
 你的招數。更何況,若這袋鼠是真的,你想周圍的人會這樣無動於衷嗎?」
                                                                                                                                                
   事實上這個公園裡最怪異的就是外星人自己本身,雖然他不知道外星
                                                                               
 人是不是搞了什麼戲法,讓公園裡的見他們打鬥卻沒半點驚訝,要不一般
                                                                               
 來說應該警察會上來關心了。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「唉呀當醫生的人果然心思比較縝密呀!」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人似乎想做個什麼俏皮動作,可是臉上還是一貫表情,醫師只看
                                                                               
 見他的嘴巴一張一闔,並沒有瞧見什麼嘟嘴吐舌頭的畫面。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「放心啦!萬一他們真看見我們打戰,那一定會產生慌亂。我可是主
                                          張宇宙和平的耶,怎麼可能會發生這種事?我只是調整了一下他們的腦電
                                                                               
 波,他們只會以為我們是 Cosplay 的同好,眼睛也設定成其它正常舉動
                                                                               
 啦~」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   其它正常舉動?醫師微皺眉,還是壓下了詢問的念頭。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「你該不會也控制我的腦電波吧?」雖然不想承認,但剛剛的袋鼠讓
                                                                               
 他不得不『暫時』相信眼前的人可能是真的外星人。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人又搖起他的八根手指頭,綠色的緊身衣看起來有莫名滑稽感。
                                                                                
                                                                                                         
   「我沒有喔!比賽是公平的,外星人也是公平的,外星人沒有作弊!
 
 外星人是好人!不過你剛剛那招好帥喔!不愧是名醫,刷刷刷得我好怕那
                                                                               
 隻小可愛會被你分屍呢~」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   醫生冷笑一聲,說:「外星人,你實在很不適合裝可愛。」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人一個惱怒,拉了拉身上的緊身衣,光滑的質料在陽光下閃著詭
                                                                               
 異的光線。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「醫生你好沒禮貌,竟然這樣說遠道而來的朋友。你們中國人不是有
                                                                               
 一句話叫:『有朋自遠方來,不亦樂乎。』嗎?這樣不可以!我都說你很
                                                                  帥了!」
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   外星人試圖讓臉上泛紅,可是綠色加紅色的結果下竟成了黑色!這下
                                                                               
 外星人臉上成了很詭異的畫面,大眼下黑黑的,反倒像睡眠不足的熬夜外
                                                                               
 星人。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   「可惡!早知道就不穿這件了!」外星人嬌嗔一聲,可是醫生聽來一
                                                                               
 點也沒有嬌媚的感覺。
                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                                               
   他握緊袖中的手術刀,心想也該試試自己秘密訓練的絕技了……
                                                                                
                                                                                                     
                                                                               
--
應該不會有錯字吧???
要體諒一下外星人,他才來地球沒幾年啊…………囧"
                                                                               
--
※ Origin: 交大次世代(bs2.to)
◆ From: 114-37-241-87.dynamic.hinet.net
REPEN:驚!明信片出動了!                                       03/03 22:16
REPEN:推薦這篇文章                                             03/03 22:16
→ QAZXC:-/////- 不知道這樣字數夠不夠.....                        03/03 22:20
Midlight:我喜歡小綠人那段!                                     03/03 22:21
→ REPEN:冏 還想說怕你們負擔大300字就好了(是我想多了)            03/03 22:21
gloleas:這篇實在太棒了XDD 我喜歡明信片招數                     03/03 22:23
QAZXC:我有偷偷做功課 XD                                        03/03 22:24
Evam06:我也喜歡明信片招式 >///<                                03/03 22:25
REPEN:我也喜歡明信片!和小綠人!                                 03/03 22:25
→ QAZXC:=/////////= (偷偷害羞) 我愛明信片呀~~~                   03/03 22:26
Midlight:什麼?有字數限制!?0.0                                  03/03 22:27
Evam06:所以這篇的大絕招是.....COSPLAY嗎 >////<                 03/03 22:29
→ QAZXC:樓上......XDDDDD                                         03/03 22:31
elove:好棒呀外星人~~~我愛你~~(毆飛)                       03/03 22:33
→ Midlight:COSPLAY綠燈和msn!?                                    03/03 22:33
→ QAZXC:樓上的推理能力真是妙到一個極點...........XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD 03/03 22:34
QAZXC:被告白了....>//////< (外星人臉頰又變黑了) XDD            03/03 22:34
REPEN:在在生動的描寫了外星人這樣的生物                         03/03 22:37
htalent:推薦這篇文章                                           03/03 22:48
→ QAZXC:QQ 樓上也來了....  (話說開始期待明天的醫生了>/////<)     03/03 22:58
GOODFRAN:XDDDDDDD  好好笑好好笑!外星人好口愛XDDDDDDD          03/03 23:21
dolphin15:好好看喔 西捷寫這種東西都生得很快又可以寫很長耶      03/04 00:18
→ QAZXC:對呀~~~~~(得意挺胸) !!!!!嗯??海豚是不是意有所指什麼?>口< 03/04 00:21
dolphin15:XDDD 沒有沒有 你多心多心了啦                         03/04 00:24
→ QAZXC:那就好.... (收回海豚明信片)                              03/04 00:30
SylvaF:推薦這篇文章                                            03/04 00:31
DEAugust:推薦這篇文章                                          03/05 21:59

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